One of the greatest challenges we face in our lifetimes is becoming comfortable with ourselves. A person who is secure with himself is much more likely to achieve success, have meaningful relationships, and be respected by others. A person who is insecure finds difficulty in many aspects of life. Since most people are insecure, a person who is secure has power and influence over others; even if they are not otherwise powerful. Coming to terms with who you are is the first step in obtaining happiness in life. The sooner you realize that happiness is something that you decide internally, and not something that you get from people or posessions; the sooner you will be able to create your own destiny.

Here are some common signs that indicate insecurity:

1-Defensiveness Insecure people tend to be very sensitive to critique and respond with defensiveness. They aren’t comfortable enough with themselves to accept that they might be flawed. A secure person can handle criticism. They’re open to hearing about ways they might improve. If they disagree with the criticism, they don’t try to argue because they’re happy with who they are. They’re comfortable enough to be themselves, even if other people don’t like it. They realize that they can’t please everyone.

2-Self-Promoting Insecure people tend to talk about themselves constantly, as if they feel like they have to prove themselves. Self-promotion is paramount to over-compensation for doubt. An insecure person craves attention. A confident person doesn’t need to promote himself. His qualities are displayed naturally by the way he lives his life. Besides, he doesn’t need validation from anyone anyway.

3-Overly Competitive Competitiveness is part of a healthy emotional makeup, but over-competitiveness is a sign of a problem. Someone who can’t take losing by making a big emotional display lacks confidence. A person who is secure with himself wins or loses with grace. Grace has a lot to do with respecting your opponent and you can only do that if you are first comfortable with yourself.

4-Overly Authoritative Insecure people in positions of power tend to compensate for their lack of confidence by taking out their frustrations on their subordinates. They might issue unfair punishments or orders as a way to prove their authority.

Insecurity can be highly destructive, especially if you don’t understand it. Many insecure people find scapegoats for their problems, never realizing that they are causing the problems themselves. The beginning of security is learning to laugh at yourself, realizing that no one is perfect.